To Begin Again

Hello World! My name is Jenny. I used to have a blog where I wrote about artists, movies, and books that I have come across in my life and have made an impact on me. Unfortunately, it was sort of censored... (long story). A lot of time has passed since then, and I have changed a great deal. One thing I have learned very recently is that I don't know what I really think until I start talking, or, even better, writing. Therefore, I have decided to begin again.


This time I want to just write about everything. Art, music, movies, and books will most definitely be a big part of it because that is what I enjoy. But recently I have fallen back in love with my God, and that has changed everything. So, I will definitely be incorporating Him and what He is doing in my life. Also, I have had the opportunity to rekindle a lot of relationships with my old friends and started some relationships with new friends, as well. Needless to say, I am loving where my life is headed right now and I'd love to tell you about it!


So how did I fall in love with God again? I should probably start with how I fell out of love with Him, at least most recently. This isn't a crazy story really. Every follower of Christ falls away a little sometimes. That is just part of being human. For me, it is a struggle to let go of control, which is ridiculous because I don't have control over anything anyway. But sometimes, most of the time, I like to think I have control.


This particular time, I was in love with a boy and I was not willing to see that a future with this boy was not part of my plan and my purpose. It is funny, though, because pretty early in that relationship I was very in love with God for a while, and that boy had a pretty big part in that. I looked back in my prayer notes and I had prayed that God would show me if this boy was part of the plan He had for my life, and whatever the answer was to help me be ok with it. From that point there is evidence of when I got my answer, and how much I didn't like it, and when I stopped talking to God all together because I didn't want to accept it. It wasn't until I was told that the love from this boy, that I thought was real and was mine forever, was conditional that my prayer was answered. I was immediately ok with it, and let me tell you, that is a miracle.


Since then, everywhere I look I see God working in my life. I started to finally trust God, because now I know that, whether I am paying attention or not, God is working in my life, and he knows what I truly want and need much better than I do. Because of this new faith, I am inspired to do things that are way out of my comfort zone like: go to Poland on a mission trip in June, decide to go to grad school to become a marriage counselor, be a promotional model, try to respect my dad and build a relationship with him, and volunteer with Outreach inc. All of these things I would have never even considered a year ago, but now I am. That is both terrifying and exciting!


I am so grateful for all the people who have been in my life while I discovered all of this. I don't regret a single one of you, and I hope I get to keep you all in my life while I change even more.


With enough love until next time,
Jenny!